A half opened blindfold
I wish I knew. I just wish that everything I had thought was all right, but sadly it was not.
I am a mother of a young child, turning terrible or terrific two as few hopeful will put it, few days from now.
I had him in my mind even before the moment I compromised my purity with the man I used to ask help for all my projects. I was not sure what to become if ever he will come earlier than expected.
But he waited. he came, I think on the the moment he is supposed to be, but as the Lord had prepared him well on coming out this planet, though both our journey was not an easy one. He choose to survived and overcame adversities. O we choose to, or maybe should it be the other way. And so, it will end my journey.
Though I was happy, I was not fully aware of the unfolding new chapter of my life. A messy and chaotic one. No, insane, would suits it better.
They say you can not like something you are actually in love with.
So where does love lies inside me now, when I don't like the things I am in right now. I dont understand why I am feeling this way.
Walking away from all you ever wanted, you thought, you ever wanted, was not an easy way to hop into something you barely understand. I can barely comprehend my name right now, mama.
A name synonymous to people who has to brave all kinds of demands and pressure while multi-tasking and keeping sane at the same time, like waiters, a maid, government employee or a mascot, with no compensation.
A friend just said that everything is about perspective.
I read a post from a woman who I know have not been blessed of having a child even after almost 3 years of marriage, that she is dying to have that kind of life and job. She knows that it was not a walk in the park, but she rather take that road.
You have to change the way you see things, so your feelings will also be transformed. O that heart. The bible says it is very deceiving yet very essential to someone's life.
Whatever you put inside your heart will always overflow. If you keep good things inside it, you will sow positive outputs and feelings.
I don't have anything like that right now. And I am processing everything from my mental to spiritual being.
And I just hope, I get to passed these roller coaster, unpredictable, worst kind of emotions the soonest.
I know I need to.
But I hope somebody will understand me or just feel me.
I need to breathe and feel alive again. Or I'll just have to choose to survive, like everybody else, whose jobs are like mine.
These feelings shall pass.
I am a mother of a young child, turning terrible or terrific two as few hopeful will put it, few days from now.
I had him in my mind even before the moment I compromised my purity with the man I used to ask help for all my projects. I was not sure what to become if ever he will come earlier than expected.
But he waited. he came, I think on the the moment he is supposed to be, but as the Lord had prepared him well on coming out this planet, though both our journey was not an easy one. He choose to survived and overcame adversities. O we choose to, or maybe should it be the other way. And so, it will end my journey.
Though I was happy, I was not fully aware of the unfolding new chapter of my life. A messy and chaotic one. No, insane, would suits it better.
They say you can not like something you are actually in love with.
So where does love lies inside me now, when I don't like the things I am in right now. I dont understand why I am feeling this way.
Walking away from all you ever wanted, you thought, you ever wanted, was not an easy way to hop into something you barely understand. I can barely comprehend my name right now, mama.
A name synonymous to people who has to brave all kinds of demands and pressure while multi-tasking and keeping sane at the same time, like waiters, a maid, government employee or a mascot, with no compensation.
A friend just said that everything is about perspective.
I read a post from a woman who I know have not been blessed of having a child even after almost 3 years of marriage, that she is dying to have that kind of life and job. She knows that it was not a walk in the park, but she rather take that road.
You have to change the way you see things, so your feelings will also be transformed. O that heart. The bible says it is very deceiving yet very essential to someone's life.
Whatever you put inside your heart will always overflow. If you keep good things inside it, you will sow positive outputs and feelings.
I don't have anything like that right now. And I am processing everything from my mental to spiritual being.
And I just hope, I get to passed these roller coaster, unpredictable, worst kind of emotions the soonest.
I know I need to.
But I hope somebody will understand me or just feel me.
I need to breathe and feel alive again. Or I'll just have to choose to survive, like everybody else, whose jobs are like mine.
These feelings shall pass.
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